My favourite holiday recipes of 2014

It's Christmas Eve! I thought I would write a quick update while I wait for the boyfriend to finish work and get home so we can drive to his parent's place.

Christmas is getting easier and more enjoyable each year. When I first decided to go vegan, I didn't really announce it to our families because I was nervous about what they would think and I was scared they would stress themselves out trying to cater to our "special needs". Whenever we visit family, we spend a crazy amount of time making food that everyone can have. Devin's mom has since become quite the vegan chef. She brought lentil loaf, cashew cheesecake and an amazing rubbed kale salad for us at the family Christmas party this past weekend. I no longer worry about visiting her and I really appreciate what she does. My mom usually has a Tofurky for us and uses vegan-friendly margarine in her sides so we can have them too. I haven't really gotten the details on what's going on with my family this Christmas, but I'm not going to stress about it. We have a Field Roast Celebration Roast in the freezer if we need it.

I got hit with massive student loan repayments this month, so Christmas this year has been pretty low-key. Devin and I decided  not to exchange gifts and we spent the last 2 weeks baking goodies to give to our friends and prepping food for the numerous potlucks, parties and gatherings that we were invited to. Here are some of my favourite recipes this year:

Almond Lace Cookies

Sorry, no photos for these but they look just like the photos and taste delicious. I haven't had a complaint.

Vegan Cheddar Cheese Ball

I nearly killed the Vitamix making this, but it's so worth it. It tastes just like cheddar. I brought this to my work potluck and blew everyone's minds. One of my coworkers has a soy and tomato allergy but it was easy to swap those out with roasted red pepper and chickpea miso.

Gumdrop Cake

My family had gumdrop cake every Christmas growing up. The vegan version tastes just as delicious. We used gelatin-free jubjubes in them.

Gingerbread Cookie Balls

If you're looking for a healthy festive treat, there is no refined sugar in this recipe. Just nuts, dates, molasses and spices. They're delicious.

Peanut Butter Balls

I just took a regular recipe and subbed the butter out for margarine, Rice Krispies for organic crisp brown rice, peanut butter for natural chunky peanut butter and the chocolate chips for the dairy-free variety. I had to use way more peanut butter and margarine mixture and chocolate than the recipe calls for.

I've been seeing a chiropractor for 3 weeks now because I was having lower back pain before and after my show. I'm happy to say that my pain is pretty much gone. Last night, I was given the okay to start squatting at a light weight. I AM SO HAPPY!

Looking back, I think I pushed myself too hard with certain exercises. I always hated planks because my lower back felt like it was going to collapse. I remember telling Devin that it feels like someone put a giant brick on my lower back whenever I did planks. Whenever I was told that my butt wasn't high enough, I fought the pain to get it back in the air. I thought the pain was normal, so I fought through it. I guess it wasn't. I fought through a few more exercises that made my back feel the same and I think I paid the price.

Luckily, I didn't do any serious damage. I guess I spent too much time with my lower back straighter than it is supposed to be and everything tensed up. I have been working on keeping a curve in my lower back and being aware of how I sit. I've been doing stretches and stability exercises to build up my core strength outside of treatment. I've been doing my exercises more slowly at the gym so I can work on my form and notice when I feel pain and discomfort.

I should probably wrap this up. Happy Holidays everyone!

My First Confessional: The Vegan Stereotype

I want to take a post or two to address the vegan stereotype. Since I have started competing and putting myself out there, I run into people who make assumptions about my personality. Unfortunately, vegans have a bad reputation. Vegans have been stereotyped as being militant, extreme, preachy, judgmental and holier-than-thou. Animal rights activist groups like PETA haven't helped the cause. Thanks to them, I feel like some non-vegans assume that I am mean or that I think I am better than everyone else. Since honesty is the best policy, I want to write about how I really feel about non-vegans.

I would like to point out that non-vegans aren't just guilty of stereotyping. Vegans do it all of the time. It doesn't make it any less right and it can be just as hurtful. I admit that I have stereotyped non-vegans before. It's not worth it. All it did was bring more negativity into my life.

I often feel like people see me as the protester or the judge when in reality,
I like to lift heavy things, eat and meet new people.

I can understand where the "judgemental holier-than-thou" vegan stereotype comes from. I've witnessed quite a few Vegan Police jump down the throats of non-vegans for something as innocent as posting a photo of a chicken sandwich. All vegans aren't members of the Vegan Police. In fact, I know many vegans who are uncomfortable calling themselves vegan because they are afraid of getting bullied. You've probably run into these people at parties or gatherings and failed to notice them avoiding the cheese trays because they are great people with kind hearts. Only some of us can be mean at times, and even then, that doesn't automatically mean that we don't like you or that we think we are better than you.

Recently, I have had a few non-vegans imply that I don't like them or that I think I am better than them. Do I hate non-vegans? Do I think that I am better than non-vegans? Not at all!

So, here is my confession: I have called people murderers before. Back in high school, I was bullied for being vegetarian. I don't remember doing anything to provoke them other than volunteer an hour a month at an animal rights information booth that a group of us set up in the lobby. What I ate and what I believed in really bothered people and before I knew it, my "friends" were approaching me with lines like "I went hunting this weekend. We shot a buck and it's going to  make for some good eating" and "For every animal you don't eat, I am going to eat 3". I didn't know how to act in these situations and it made me feel very uncomfortable. My gut reaction was to resort to name-calling. I remember calling one of these kids a heartless murderer at one point to try to get him to bugger off. Naturally, calling him names didn't work. All it did was provoke laughter and more comments about my lifestyle. They likely stereotyped me as being emotional and holier-than-thou because of how I reacted to them but at the time, I really had no idea how to react and had very little support from my other friends.

Let's jump ahead to a few years. When I first went vegan, I was a ball of emotion. I was passionate, angry, happy and sad all at once. The more I educated myself, the more I hated the human race. I couldn't understand why people didn't care about where their food came from, why they continued to fund animal cruelty by purchasing animal products, and why they responded with "mmm bacon" when I tried to show them my side. On top of that, a few of my friends who supported me as a vegetarian started treating me like garbage when they found out I had suddenly become an "extremist". When a friend starts treating you differently because you have a made a positive change in your life, it can really put you into a tailspin. I keep asking myself "Were we ever really friends?" and I still have a difficult time answering that.

When you're arguing with someone, especially online, and emotions are high, it's so easy to resort to name-calling and bullying. I eventually realized that's not the best way to draw attention to what I am passionate about. Logic, facts, science and positive personal experiences are the way to go. When someone completely blows off what I tell them, the best thing I can do is walk away.

I wish this didn't happen but it does...

Something else you should know about me is that some of my friends and family are vegans and some are non-vegans. Some are open-minded and very supportive of my lifestyle while others have other things in common with me. If I hated non-vegans, I would be a lot more lonely!

I will admit though that sometimes non-vegans make me feel uncomfortable. Most of the time, it's unintentional but it happens. I wind up feeling pretty awkward when things like meat, hunting or fur are brought up in conversation in a positive way because I see nothing positive about these subjects. It doesn't mean I imagine sticking pins in a voodoo doll version of you in my head while you're talking. I just don't know how to respond  to you in that situation. It's hard for me to choke out positive phrases like "that down coat you're wearing is beautiful on you" when I don't think that buying down or other animal products are to be celebrated. I know what these industries are like and how the animals react so I feel like I am lying when I try to say something nice. If you don't understand what I am talking about, imagine that you're hanging with your friends when one of them starts talking about the dog meat they enjoyed while on a recent trip to Asia. I think it is safe to say that most of us here in North America has had positive experiences with companion animals. Here dogs are members of the family. We dress them up. We give them names. We take them to the vet when they get sick. We mourn them when we pass away. When someone starts talking about eating dogs, you may find yourself upset because to you, it would be like eating a member of your family. Or perhaps you have read up on the illegal dog trade going on in Asia and are horrified at the conditions in which they are kept and killed in. If the thought of eating dog makes you uncomfortable, would you say to your friend? I think you would have a difficult time being supportive of his or her decision to eat dog and you may be struggling with what would be appropriate to say. Similar thoughts go through my mind when I hear people talk about eating meat or other things they participate in that uses animals.

Do I think I am better than non-vegans? When it comes to lifestyle, I feel like I am living a more passionate, peaceful and rewarding lifestyle than most people. I also feel like plenty of non-vegans are living more passionate, peaceful and rewarding lifestyles than I am. For instance, Movember just came and went. I admire all of the people who took time out of their month to raise money for a good cause. I could say that that they are "better" than me because they actively fund-raised while I was caught up in the selfish adventure of stepping on stage, but nah, they inspire me to do be a better person.

To sum it up, if you're a jerk or an asshat to me, I'm not going to like you very much. If you're a kind person and treat  me well, I am going to like you and do what I can for you. Veganism has nothing to do with that.

Can we make 2015 the year we stop stereotyping each other? Can we make an effort to get to know people instead of making assumptions? Just try! Trust me, it will be worth the effort.

Goal-setting and setbacks

It has been almost 3 weeks since my competition. How am I doing? Well... my body isn't doing so well but I am still eager to reach my new goals.

About 2 weeks before the show, I noticed stiffness in my lower back after doing a lot of cardio. The stiffness has progressed to pain. The night after my show, my back was throbbing and I almost had to reach for pain killers. I didn't get to the gym much afterwards because of other commitments, but it started hurting after leg day and again after my photoshoot on the weekend. It's sensitive and starts to hurt when I bend or crouch down. I have an appointment with a chiropractor on Monday to get it checked out.

I've been told to take it easy because I could risk hurting myself even more. I don't want to take it easy! I want to hit the weights and start building muscle. I want to get back at the gym so that all of those holiday treats hanging around the house doesn't make it to my waist. I already fit into my pants again. I'm trying so hard not to bum myself out but it's difficult.

On a positive note, I thought long and hard about what I want to do next. I got hit with student loans this month, so doing Atlantics or the IDFA show in April is out of the question. I would like to travel to Montreal for the IDFA show in October. That gives me plenty of time to put on more muscle. Plus, I have never been to Montreal before so I could make a little trip out of it! After that, I may do the NSABBA show again in November.

I've been asked a few times why I want to continue competing and what I expect to get out of it. There are so many downsides to competing. There is drama everywhere. I didn't realize that drugs are as prevalent as they are. I've been attacked, blocked and unfriended by pro athletes who are close-minded about diets, training and veganism. It's physically and emotionally draining. Also, I'm a shy girl which makes appearing fun and flirty on stage a challenge... and apparently, I put on muscle slower than a lot of girls. So why would I want to do this again?

I've never excelled at sports growing up. I have played badminton, basketball and volleyball but I was never good enough to make the teams. I bowled for a number of years and did win a few banners but the competition was small or non-existent. With bodybuilding, just having the drive and courage to step on stage makes you a winner. It doesn't matter if you come in first or 16th place, you've already accomplished what most people cannot do or won't do. No matter how you do, you're an inspiration to a lot of people. I believe that I have inspired people and demonstrated that people can be athletes without consuming animals and animal products.

To be honest, I don't expect to place well in shows. If my goal was to place high, I feel like I would have to sacrifice my morals and put my physical and mental health in jeopardy. I took up lifting to get healthy and the thought of doing something that will hurt me or set me back scares me.

I'm still having fun though and meeting tons of new people at every show I do or event I participate in. The moment I stop having fun is the moment I need to re-evaluate my decision to compete.

Also, I'm still progressing. Coach Krissy told me that the difference between my first competition and now is like night and day. As long as I continue progressing, I would like to continue on in the sport.

I am excited to see what 2015 brings. Since my coach is no longer taking on women for competition prep, I have found another coach whose values match up with mine. I am going to miss my coach a lot but I am really excited to see what's in store for me. I believe I start my meal plan in January. In the meantime, I'm going to eat clean when I can and not stress too much over the holiday feasts coming.

I will leave you with some transformation pictures. Can you spot the difference? I look more sassy and confident. My shoulders and back have more muscles. I loved my suit, but I'm thinking of doing a lighter blue next year just in case I wind up being the darkest person on stage again. I will have to keep an eye out for a used one!

Left: WBFF in May 2014
Right: ECC in November 2014
October 2015: ???

East Coast Classic 2014

Last weekend, I competed in Santana Anderson's East Coast Classic. I'll be quite honest... before I did the WBFF, I did not want to compete in this show. I heard a lot of negative things about the judging, especially with bikini class. I heard that there was a lot of drama. I decided to give it a chance and experience it for myself.

The people who compete in this even form a pretty tight knit community. I've always felt a little over place when I'm in a room with a bunch of bikini competitors but I managed to meet some awesome people and I even ran into people who I didn't expect to be competing.

The day before competition, Devin let me have the car. I'm a fairly new driver so I still don't understand how I made it to my mani/pedi without crashing the car. I had to drive home in those awful spa flip flops and then head out to the hotel for tan and registration during rush hour. It was raining really hard so I arrived in my $10 camouflage Zellers rubber boots that I bought for my biology labs. Everyone else was wearing Hunters (now you know why I feel like I don't fit in sometimes...) and all I could smell was pizza.

I arrived to my tan super early and they forgot I was there. Then my tan wouldn't stick in some places and turned my skin black in other places. The woman doing my tan told me not to panic and that they would put another coat on me in the morning. So I didn't panic. Go me!

Then I had to go downstairs so the judges could do the bum-check on my suit. The NSABBA is a stickler for covered bottoms. Luckily, mine passed but I had to be sure to bikini bite (glue) the front so I wouldn't flash the judges. There were tears shed as girls were rejected. I wanted to run over and give each of them a hug. I can't imagine how stressful it would be to have to find a new suit or shoes the night before.

When I got home, I set my alarm for 4:45 am. Only I didn't wake up at 4:45 am. I woke up at 6:25 am. I thought my hair and make-up was at 6 am so I literally woke up and left for the salon. I arrived in a panic. My hair dresser told me it wasn't a big deal and that she arrived at 6:20 and made some tea. Wait a second... she arrived at 6:20? Apparently my appointment was moved to 6:30 so I was only a few minutes late. I regretted not grabbing my oats and banana for the road.

This lovely lady, Lauren, came to my rescue
with bronzer when the tan people darkened
me even more :)

My hair and make-up was amazing. It was so much better than my hair for the WBFF. Coach Krissy didn't recognize me when I arrived at the show. Devin's family members walked past me. I had people I barely knew said they didn't recognize me. I got tons of compliments on my eyes. I loved how I looked and it really boosted my confidence. I have Jaquelyn from The Parlour and Vicky Mina to thank for it!

Bikini girls were on last so I immediately went to get my tan fixed. They put a really dark coat on me... and it started coming off too. I went from being the lightest competitor to one of the darkest. Great. I sat in the lobby and waited with the other Fit Starts Here competitors... and waited... and waited... and 3 hours went by... then I snuck my wine into the bathroom, pumped up and hit the stage.

Being on stage was a totally different experience this time around. I was only a little shaky (thank you booze!) and I was actually able to think on stage instead of being in a panic. I remember telling myself to keep my gut sucked in and my knees locked. Shortly after arriving on stage, I found Devin and his family in the audience which put me at ease. Meanwhile, people in the audience were yelling out numbers ("Go 72!" "Smile, 83!"). Whenever I heard someone from the audience call out to us, it made me laugh. Then someone started calling out my name and number. It made me so happy.

I was super excited when Katie, a fellow diva, made second call out and a little bummed out when some of the people I knew made last call-out.

There were 27 girls in my class. I made 3rd call-out and ended up placing 15th. I was super happy with that. My goal was to place. If you place 16th or higher, you don't get placed at all so I barely made it. Go me. I'm happy with that, I think.

After judging, Devin and I took his family to EnVie for some eats. Since I was only allowed to have carbs and fat, I went for the cashew Alfredo pasta and smokey seitan bacon. Mmm. Devin wasn't sure if they would enjoy my show but they got really into it. It felt really great having them make the long drive out here to support me on. I really appreciated it and really meant a lot to me. My friends and family couldn't or wouldn't come to my show and that had started stressing me out the week before.

The night show was a repeat of the morning show. There was a lot more waiting and we were more rushed on stage, but afterwards, the slutty brownies I made were waiting for me. I got Devin to pick me up a veggie burger and fries when he came and got me. It was so worth it.

I woke up the next morning feeling sad that the day was over already. I enjoyed some treats, spent time with some friends and started thinking about what I want to do next. I would love to do Atlantics in April, but I'm also interested in doing a drug-free show in the fall.

Treats: vegan garlic fingers with bacon from Belly Full of Veggies (top left), waffles from EnVie (top right), treat pot luck goodies (bottom left) and a close-up of my slutty brownies (bottom right)

Since my show, I have been feeling very grateful. I'm grateful for having an awesome dedicated coach who sacrificed a lot to help us get on stage that day. I am grateful for my boyfriend who has driven me to the gym, helped me with my errands and prepped a lot of my meals for me. I am grateful for the my fellow divas: Katie, Terri, Rebecca and Celeste. They were great company throughout the process and I really hope they're happy with how they did because I am so proud of them. I am grateful for the women that I have met at posing practice, the seminar, and during the show and how kind they have been. I am grateful for Jonathan Shreve's help with my posing. I'll definitely be getting more lessons from him if I continue on.

You haven't seen the last of me. I don't know when I'll step on stage next but in the meantime, I am going to work on building some more muscle and put more time and effort into doing things that make me happy. I have a cooking class tomorrow night at EnVie where I will be learning how to make vegan cheese. I've been asked out for coffee by a few people post-show so I will be taking them up on that. I want to do some more baking and learn how to be a better cook!

Thanks everyone <3

Peak Week Ups and Downs

One of the reasons why I started this blog is so that I can document my contest prep. Well, I've failed at that because I have been way too busy. For the last month or so I would go to work, eat, work-out and go to sleep. My weekends have been busy with errands, trips home, more work and seeing my friends.

My competition is 2 days away. I am nearing the end of the infamous Peak Week to prepare for competition. During Peak Week, athletes typically do a carb depletion/loading phase and a water loading/depletion phase to get our bodies ready for the stage.
The way I understand it is that the easiest way to cut body fat before a competition is to cut carbs such as fruits, colourful veggies and grains and increase the amount of protein and fat you're eating. The lack of carbs makes you leaner but it also makes your muscles flatter as glycogen stores in your muscles deplete. A few days before a show, athletes will suddenly eat tons of carbs to increase their glycogen stores. This makes the muscles puff out and appear fuller. For me, carb depletion/loading meant subsiding on edaname, tofu and steamed broccoli for a couple of days. I was hungry. I was tired. My head was foggy. I was super cranky. Just being at work annoyed me to the point where I just wanted to walk out haha. I don't remember my last depletion being this tough but I am leaner now than I was before, which probably plays a role. Now I'm getting banana, sweet potato, white rice and lots of oats. I've gone from feeling hungry to super full. It definitely messes with your body!

Bodybuilders are dehydrated when they step on stage. Dehydration gets rid of bloating and makes your muscles appear hard. Most athletes go through a loading phase where they salt their foods to retain water and drink tons of water (I was up to 6L a day). Then salt is avoided and water is cut. When water is cut, your body thinks that it is still taking in 6L of water a day and so it eliminates water like you're still drinking a large amount. This helps squeeze every last drop of water from your body. This time around I bought a 4L jug for water loading/depletion. When I measured out my water, I found it easier to get it into me.

As for the show, I'm getting very nervous. For months, I was really confident in my posing. Just lately, I have had some conflicting opinions on how to walk, how to transition and how to do my mandatory front pose. I felt like I was a newbie all over again and it left me very confused and disappointed. I know that posing is one of my weaker points but I wasn't prepared to be told that what I'm doing isn't good enough. I took the day off work today so I can focus on posing as well as get things done around the house.

Tomorrow I have my first mani/pedi booked and I go for my spray tan. Then show time! After the show I get to binge a little bit but I have to go back to dieting because I have a photo shoot booked at the end of the month.

I've been down a little bit as well. I almost had a break-down at the gym the other night. I was very upset that some of the people I love don't support what I'm doing. I really really want them to be at my show and it hurts a lot that instead of supporting me, they either remained close-minded or have shunned me for being a vegan. It's hard! I keep reminding myself that some  people are jerks. It hasn't been working though.

I'm going to do some baking today so I have some post-show noms on hand. Since all I've thinking about is FOOD, here is a cool survey I found on The Laziest Vegans in the World:


What is your favorite store-bought veggie burger?

I don't have veggie burgers that often so I don't really know what my favourite is. I grew up with Yves veggie burgers. They're pretty tasty!

What is you favorite frozen dinner?
I haven't tried many because there is such a mark-up here in Canada. I love Tofurky Pepperoni Pizza. They're the king of frozen pizzas.

What is your favorite ice cream?
Larry and Luna's Coconut Bliss is the best. I don't know which flavour I enjoy the most.

What is your favorite chip or cracker?
Mary's Gone Crackers are awesome dipped in almond butter. My rats even love them!

What is your favorite cereal?
Peanut Butter Puffins with almond milk and blueberries.

What is your favorite candy?
PC European Dark Chocolate and Zazubean Nut Bar. I am a sucker for chocolate.

What is your favorite cookie?
Do the Sweet & Sara Peanut Butter Smores count as a cookie? I wish you could get these here in Canada!

What three pre-packaged food items would you take to a desert island?
Dandies Marshmallows to toast over my survival fire, breaded calamari from Sophie's Kitchen because it is so darn crispy and yum and... Lara bars!

Name a product you would like Veganized?
They need to veganize those little crispy vanilla wafers so that they can finally make vegan Mr. Bigs.

What are your favorite local and/or online stores for Vegan products?

Locally: Organic Earth Market, Superstore and EnVie.
Online: Vitacost because shipping is so affordable.

Look Past The Photograph

A friend of mine shared my blog in an online vegan community. One of the first comments came from a woman who couldn't understand why I was barely wearing anything in one of my photos. It was explained to her how bodybuilding competitions work (we build up our muscles, put on suits so that judges can see said muscles and then we binge on Oreos and cupcakes) but alas, I was dressed too inappropriately to represent strong women according to her.

The photo that started it all.
Taken by Ray of Light Photography

This wasn't the first time I saw comments like this. In fact, I used to think like this woman. What changed? Do I still think that what I do is inappropriate, sexist and too sexy? My answer is pretty complicated, but I'll try to walk you through this.

If you showed that photo to me 2 years ago, I would have thought the same thing: Why is this woman wearing a skimpy bikini? Why is she sharing such a private photo to strangers on the internet? This is very inappropriate. I think she is just looking for attention.

I thought this way for 2 reasons, the first being that I was jealous. I grew up being bullied. In elementary, I looked like a boy so kids teased because of that. Junior high was the worst. I was bullied for being fat and ugly. The bullying was so bad that I still suffer from anxiety whenever I go back to my hometown. I am still scared that I am going to run into someone out in public and they are going to beat the crap out of me. It's irrational, I know, but the bullies pushed me to the point where I had to transfer schools. It was that bad.

The comments about my weight caused me to cover myself up. Every day, I went to school and had to look at the popular girls. They wore spaghetti strap tops and their pierced bellies were often exposed. They walked around with a lot of confidence and they didn't take crap from anybody. I wanted to be like them, but I couldn't. I wanted them to cover up so that I didn't feel as badly about myself.

Whenever I saw a photo of a beautiful confident woman, it reminded me that I could never look as good as they do. Instead of finding them inspiring, I thought of some things that the woman could do to make herself less threatening to me. That meant wishing she would dressed more conservatively and didn't put herself out there like that.

The second reason is because of how I was raised. My family is a little more conservative than the average family. I wasn't allowed to wear the spaghetti strap tops when they became trendy. I was not allowed to attend school dances. I started shaving later than most people I knew (well... Nair-ing because I would "regret" shaving my legs with a razor). It was rough trying to fit in because even when I was confident enough to wear what I liked, it was discouraged. Sleeve-less tops and tight tops were "too sexy". Being sexy attracts boys, drugs and trouble. Because I never wanted to rock the boat, I went with it.

When you're raised in an environment where you are lead to believe that short-shorts and bare shoulders attract bad things, you think that everyone who wears less than you do is trying to attract trouble. So I started associating certain styles and activities with negative behaviours and actions. I would label the girls who dressed this way as sluts. Looking back, that's bullying.

If you think I am doing competitions and posting photos of myself for sex and to attract men, I'm not. If that was my goal, I'd probably take my bra off and do some steamy black and white photos of me hanging off of a sexy male torso. I have 3 reasons for getting up on that stage and sharing my photos with the world:

1) To promote veganism. There are still people out there who think that vegans cannot be athletes or they cannot compete on the same level as non-vegans. I want to show people that vegans can build muscle, be healthy and able compete with non-vegans.

2) To inspire people to lead a healthier, fitter lifestyle. I want to show people that with a little determination and hard work, that he or she can be a happier healthier person.

3) To share my journey. I grew up lacking confidence and I was very reserved. I was also beginning to put on weight and had gotten pretty sick. I want people, especially my friends and family, to see how far I have come.

Do I ever think that what I am doing is inappropriate or too sexy? I would be lying if I said no.

In January, I did my first fitness photoshoot. I was super nervous with the idea of having photos taken of me in a sports bra but my coach said I was ready and I was starting to feel really good about how I looked. Doing things like wearing shorts and tank tops to the gym were beginning to feel more natural to me and I was starting to like the parts of me that had always been hidden beneath my sleeves and long pants. I did a fun photoshoot where I flexed my muscles and posed with a dumbbell and I felt really strong and confident. Then, I was asked to roll up my shorts and head over to the stairwell for some different photos. I noticed that the shoot had went from fit and fun to a little more sexy. I started getting a little nervous but I was having a lot of fun so I went with it. After the shoot was over, I realized what I had just done and I started to freak out a little. I kept thinking of my parents. What if they saw these photos on Facebook? Would it be too sexy for them? What are they going to say to me? More importantly, are they going to change the way they think of me?

I got the photos back and one really stuck out to me:

Photo by Ray of Light Photography

Yup. There it is. The sexiest photo I have ever had taken of me. I was mortified... but I was also okay with it. I'm beautiful. I love my body. Why do I need to continue to hide it?

Whenever I compete, I try to think about why I'm doing this. If me being up on stage is going to change someone's mind about veganism or inspire them to live a healthier lifestyle, my discomfort is worth it.

I expected more out of the vegan community. Vegans are the last group of people that I expected to be offended by my body. Health is one of the most popular reasons as to why people consider veganism. We're all aware of the myths out there: you need animal protein to survive and thrive, you can't get enough protein and you cannot be an athlete. As a bodybuilder, I am demonstrating that you can be healthy and athletic without animal proteins, supplements, steroids, fat burners and going to extremes. Most male and female vegan bodybuilders that I admire are doing this in the healthiest way possible. I feel like I have become a good representative of veganism... and you pick me apart because of how I dress? Really?

Next time you see some photos where a person is doing something that you would not do yourself, please think about the person's intent is when they posted that image. They could be in a sport, like bodybuilding. They could be inspiring people live a better lifestyle. Or they could just be really comfortable with who they are and they want to show everyone how confident they are.

My Epic V*gan Story of Awesomeness

Tomorrow is my veggieversary. I went vegetarian 11 years ago on that day. I have shared my vegan story before on social media and here is an extended version. Enjoy!

When I was 14 years old, I spent my time online blogging, chatting on MSN and secretly playing Neopets. This was before Facebook and I was too young to be cruising through random forums. The night before Thanksgiving, I had clicked on an MSN profile (remember those?) and saw a link to a website. Me, being nosy, clicked the link and it took me to a video. There was nothing flashy about the website so I had no idea what I was about to watch. The video was called Meet Your Meat. I remember watching men be violent with turkeys and throwing cinder blocks at piglets. Nobody was around. I started crying. The next day, I refused turkey at Thanksgiving dinner in front of my parents and grandparents.

A turkey friend I met at my trip to Farm Sanctuary in 2013

I didn't know anything about vegetarianism when I made my decision to stop eating animals. I didn't know any vegetarians. I didn't know what the public thought about vegetarians. Since social media wasn't big, I wasn't bombarded by infographics or thrown into debates about vegetarianism. I was not exposed to it by television. There weren't any vegetarian cookbooks in our house. None of the meatless meals my mom cooked were called "vegetarian". I had no idea what I was getting myself into. All I know is that I didn't want to cause pain and suffering to animals anymore. Going meat-free was the first step to embracing a cruelty-free lifestyle. With no guidance, no knowledge and one accidental movie-viewing, I became a vegetarian.

Looking back, there were a few key events that made me perceive animals as beings who have the capacity to suffer. My dad is a fisherman. One of my favorite pastimes was to go fishing with him. He explained to me that fish suffocate when they are out of water so we always put the fish back after we caught them. When I was 13, I went fishing with someone else and we left all of our fish we caught to die in a bucket. I felt sad, guilty and anxious. I asked if there was something we could do to make their deaths go faster. I was told "Not unless you want to slam their heads into the side of the boat." I was torn. I really wanted to do something for those fish but I couldn't. That was the last time I went fishing.

My dad is still a catch-and-release fisherman and I learned something new about him tonight. He believes that fish can feel pain and stress, especially when a hook becomes embedded into a sensitive place like the tongue. He feels remorse when a fish he catches dies. He has come across a number of fisherman who abuse the quota system or kill their catch and let the bodies go to waste. He doesn't understand why people kill these beings for fun and destroy their habitat in the process. He's unknowingly taught me that even fish, which are often perceived as being unable to feel pain, and their habitat should be respected and protected.

Blacketts Lake outside of Sydney, Nova Scotia. This was one of my
favourite places to fish as a kid.

When I was in junior high, my Family Studies teacher told me that she had bought tofu for a student who didn't eat red meat so that she could participate in class. My teacher even brought in Yve's faux turkey slices for the class to try (they were delicious dipped in ketchup!) I had her for Sewing Club and one meeting, I talked to her about vegetarian diets. I remember telling her that I want to go vegetarian when I grow up because I don't think we need to kill animals for food. I admitted that I was scared that my parents wouldn't let me go vegetarian while I was still living under their roof. Even though my Family Studies teacher wasn't vegetarian, she was very open-minded towards people who choose different lifestyles and diets. I got the impression that being a vegetarian was no big deal and that most people would be accepting of it. Boy, was I wrong. I am bullied because of it. I receive back-handed comments. I was the recipient of the chant "For every animal you don't eat, I am going to eat 3!" in high school. I have been told that I am going to get sick and/or die. I have lost friends over it. Now, the bullying has becoming pretty sick and twisted. Instead of calling me names or trying to turn me off by citing common myths, people accuse me of being a judgmental, holier-than-thou preachy vegan who thinks that all meat eaters are murderers and horrible human beings. In the past, I would get angry at people sometimes I and probably deserved some of those comments. It seems like now, just mentioning the V-word makes people think I hate them. I was naive in thinking that everyone is like my family studies teacher.

Look at these preachy, judgmental vegans who are
trying to struggle you with hugs and choke you
with candy. How dare they! Somebody call the po po!

Finally, my uncle told me a story about how a vehicle ahead of him had hit a deer and it took the RCMP 3 shots to put it out of its misery. I thought the end of the story would be one of sadness and empathy for the casualty but instead, my uncle laughed and told me that he took the deer home with him and put the body in the freezer. I didn't think laughing about the prolonged death of an innocent animal was appropriate and I felt really awkward and sad. I wound up writing about this story in the blog I kept in junior high. When I read my blog last year, I had written in that entry that I would go vegetarian one day. I don't know what was going through my mind to associate a tragic accident with vegetarianism, but I was thinking about it.

I don't know what happened to me to make me feel this way about animals. Somehow the brainwashing about meat being healthy, yummy and "humane" didn't fully stick.

SETA protesting the commercial seal hunt
at the 2007 Juno Awards.

I was a vegetarian for 9 years. In my early days, you'd find me on Veggieboards learning about food and animal rights issues. It didn't take me long to learn about the diet and I even stopped wearing clothing made from animal products like wool and leather. In those days, there were few vegetarian products available to me. I was limited to Yve's and Silk soy milk for the longest time, but I made it work with a lot of help from my family.

In high school, I joined a student animal rights group called SETA.The organizer, Mr. C, was the first vegan I have ever met. We would watch documentaries, hold monthly demonstrations for the students and make trips up to Halifax to participate in protests. Once I started sharing my lifestyle with people, I became hated but I fought back. I had spent most of my life being bullied for being fat, ugly and geeky. I was no longer in the mood to sit back and let the hateful comments fly. I became somewhat alienated but I don't really care. I was not about to eat bacon again to "fit in".

About 2 years ago, I decided to go vegan. Some people who tolerated me as a vegetarian suddenly couldn't deal with me any longer. But for every "friend" I lost, I found a new one who understands me. I'm happier now because I am doing all that I can to reduce animal suffering and I love being part of a growing movement. I can walk into a grocery store now and get a cruelty-free version of anything I am craving. Three vegan restaurants have opened up in Halifax since I moved here and the people who run them are amazing. I've gotten involved in the vegan bodybuilding community which is full of compassionate, supportive people.

Why kill animals when you have access to this
awesome veggie meat and cheese? Bonus feature:
it won't cause heart attacks!

I've grown a lot in 11 years. I am no longer that timid little girl that didn't want to kill fish or squash bugs. I am no longer the person who calls people names when they throw their immature insults at me. I became a fighter, a myth buster and an advocate. I want peace for all human and non-human animals and I am going to fight for it as long as I am alive. That is who I am. Deal with it.

Now what would have happened if the video I had clicked on was porn instead?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Franny and I at Farm Sanctuary.

VegFest, zombies and competition prep confessions... oh my!

Exciting things have happened since my last post!

Last weekend was the Halifax VegFest. I arrived about an hour and a half after it started and the hall was packed with people. I was not expecting that many people. The organizers weren't expecting that many people. There were 3 000 tickets printed and they ran out which is great because proceeds were donated to Hope for Wildlife and North Mountain Animal Sanctuary.

The vendors weren't expecting that many people so most of the food ran out pretty quickly. I made the mistake of walking around the venue before deciding on what I wanted to eat. Because of that, I missed out on the Korean-inspired K-Dog and the other goodies at The Food Wolf food truck and EnVie was out of chickpea wraps when I scrambled to get one. So, I didn't get to eat as much as I would have liked. I ended up having a few random things, my favourite being the quinoa apple crisp from All Good Things Bakery. I am relieved that I couldn't get my hands on what I wanted. My coach told me that there will be time for cupcakes after my competition.

Alright, I may have had
a tiny cupcake from the
Foggy Goggle...

When I walked in to the venue, I was expecting to the same businesses and the same food that I see all of the time. It wasn't like that at all. Cocoa & Honey had vegan organic fair-trade chocolate and truffles. My fitness coach, Krissy, was beside the new supplement company she is endorsing, Verda. There were even animal rights groups that I have never ever heard of! And I thought I knew every single business and group in the area that supports veganism.

My favourite part of VegFest was seeing my friends. I spent half of my time talking to people, running into people that I have only ever known online and I was even hunted down by a woman that I haven't seen since junior high.

Oh yeah. I got the opportunity to talk to Gene Baur, co-founder of Farm Sanctuary. I was interested in knowing if he was planning on doing another run or Ironman and he seemed pretty interested in what I was doing as a bikini competitor. I had to thank him for being such an inspiration to me and for what he has done for the animals. He was one of the speakers this year and he gave an amazing talk that catered to vegans and non-vegans.

I've heard rumors that it will be in a bigger venue next year and it might be held over 2 days instead of one. Also, the vendors will know to bring more food. So if you missed it this year, you have to check it out next year!

Yesterday, Devin and I participated in the Zombie Trail Run. I was expecting the whole thing to be pretty cheesy but the zombies were pretty scary and the organizers got very creative with it. While we were walking up to the park, we passed zombies playing football with a severed head and zombies where limping along while we waited for the race to start. You were given a belt with 3 flags that the zombies are trying to grab. They had obstacles set up in the woods where zombies would pop out at you or chase you. My favourite obstable was near the beginning of the trail. There were 3 doors in the middle of the woods. You had to choose a door and run through it but there were zombies waiting on the other side. There were also zombies playing the banjo and hanging from trees along the trail. It was intense.

You think that's bad? At the end of the race, you hit an open field and where it is a zombie blood bath. Those football players were COMING AT YOU. There were gravel hills you had to run up and down and hale bales you had to jump onto. It was crazy. I lost my remaining 2 flags and Devin lost all of his during that leg.

Oh yeah, we accidentally had to do an extra kilometer because they sent our group down the wrong trail when we started. We also ended up walking 20 minutes back to our car. We parked at an elementary school and took a shuttle over to the trail. We had to leave immediately after the race was over but the there was no mention that the shuttle wouldn't start running again until 1pm. So I was exhausted!

And finally, I am 7 weeks out from the ECC. How is my prep going?

If I can describe it in one word: exhausting. A couple of weeks ago, I received a new workout plan. I have to workout 6 days a week. My workouts consist of weight lifting and pylometrics in supersets. I have to do 30 minutes of cardio on top of that. Some days are fairly quick but my last leg day took me 3 hours to complete. I do have an optional rest day. I haven't taken one yet.

Working full time and hitting the gym is bad enough. Doing the Maritime Race Weekend and the Zombie Trail Run was too much for my body. Running destroys my body. Today, I woke up with sore legs, incredibly sore obliques, a sore back and a bit of a sprained ankle and what did I do? I hit up the gym and did arms, 30 minutes on the ARC trainer and posing. This is also my second day with a killer headache. I'm staying with my parents this weekend and just being here has thrown off my routine. I had a soy latte after the run to get me through the trip home and my driving lesson yesterday.I thought I was dehydrated but maybe the caffiene is causing this headache. Water and painkillers helped last night but they are not helping me tonight. Also, I've been having digestive issues on top of that. Oy. I could hibernate right now.

Sticking to my meal plan has been pretty easy. In the spring, I had the opposite problem that I do now. Working out was fun but I could not get my fingers out of the chocolate chips.

Other than that, I am getting pretty excited. I am seeing huge changes in body. I love my suit. I can't wait to see myself on competition day.

After this show, I am considering taking a lengthy break from competing. There is a drug-free show I would like to do next September. Or I could do this show and decide to never compete again. Roller Derby is on my bucket list. I couldn't commit this year because of the cost and it interferes with competition prep. I might consider joining their orientation next October if I can scrap together some money for the gear.

I hope everyone had a great week. Remember, keep fit and have fun :D

Why everyone should participate in a fun run

Last weekend, I participated in the Maritime Race Weekend, a pirate themed race that supports various non-profit groups, running groups and local businesses. I ran the 5K Sunset race on Friday evening and the 5K Sunrise race the next morning, which earned me triple the epic pirate swag. I'm not a runner. In fact, I despise running and most forms of cardio. I would rather listen to a Nickelback album on repeat for a day than do a half hour of cardio. I find it boring. So why the heck did I do this race, as well as the Run or Dye and the Sole Sisters run if I HATE running?

They're not really competitive.

This race is the first one I have participated in that allows you to track your time. They place a chip in the bib that registers when you leave the starting line and again when you cross it. Placing first, second or last doesn't matter though because the people who cross the finish line the first don't get money or huge trophies (although the first place winners got jam at this race). Everyone gets the same awesome medals and the chance to win great prizes. Even though the race is timed, you don't have to run to participate. There were sprinters, runners and joggers but you could walk the entire course if you chose to do so.

My goal was to run (without stopping to walk) for an entire 5K. I achieved that on Friday evening, which made me super happy! Saturday morning, I wound up walking a little bit (darn you sore legs and stitches in my side!) but it didn't throw my time off by much. I was only in competition with myself and I achieved what I set out to do. To get me through both races, I said encouraging phrases to myself. It has been proven that motivating yourself increases your performance. I kept saying phrases like "You can do it!", "Just a little bit further!" and "You're almost there, keep going!" in my head. I do that during tough workouts and I find it really helps!

I finished the sunset 5k at 29:53 (572 out of 1952 runners) and 31:16 the next morning (109 of 553). I kept up with the first quarter of runners. I am happy with that.

They are for a good cause.

A lot of these fun runs benefit charities, non-profits, schools and athletic clubs. Some runs require you to fundraise while others give part of the fees you pay to the organizations that they are supporting. Either way, participating makes your heart happy!

Do it for the swag.

Some of the swag you get for these fun runs are awesome! I've gotten food samples, coupons, bracelets, t-shirts and some epic medals. Yeah. I can't complain about the swag.

Did you know that the word SWAG stands for Stuff We All Get?

You feel part of something big.

When I arrived at the stage for the Sole Sisters 5K, I was looking down upon a giant sea of purple shirts. Everyone was happy and excited for the race. There were people who took their creative energy and made some elaborate costumes. Being surrounded by so many powerful women helped ease my anxiety about the race to come. The energy that participants give off at these races are contagious. You can't help but feel excited and motivated.

During road races, on-lookers will often gather on the streets and cheer you on as you run (or walk) by. On Saturday morning, I received hi-fives from onlookers and strangers were reading my name off of my bib and cheering me on. I felt like a superstar!

Look at all of that purple at the Sole Sisters Women's Race!

It's FUN!!!
At the Run or Dye race, I got colourful dye thrown all over me. At the Sole Sisters 5K, they had a "Hug Station" where you got to hug some hot firemen. Martime Race Weekend had me running down a road that wove along the ocean. The views were breath-taking! There is a race for everyone.

My boyfriend and I are participating in the Zombie Trail Run at the end of the month where we will be chased by zombies. I have to admit, I am a little afraid for this one!

They coloured me rainbow at the Run or Dye!

And finally...
You never know if you're going to like something until you go out and do it. I tried running and it's not for me. Maybe one day I'll change my mind and decide to train for a marathon or something, but right now, I'm content with lifting.

I didn't do any training for this race because it can interfere with my competition prep. I already know how to run so I wasn't too worried about injuring myself or pushing myself too far. If you're new to running, I highly recommend that you join a local Learn to Run clinic or do a program like Coach to 5K. I have to admit, it would have benefited me to train first. For instance, I realized this weekend that my belly cannot handle tomato sauce, even when eaten 2 hours before my first race. I felt so nauseous when I started and the tomato burps weren't helping. I had runner's cramps both days as well. Training would have given me the opportunity to experiment with my diet and water intake before the race so I could feel my best.

Overall, I had a lot of fun at the Maritime Race Weekend.

I'll see you at the races next year!

Banana phone.......

I lift and cycle so I can gorge on black brier berries... and other news.

The past two weeks have been full of ups and downs. I will try stick with the positives. I have many of them.

First off, Halifax VegFest is fast approaching! It is being held on September 20th at the Olympic Community Centre from 10am until 6pm. Gene Bauer, co-founder of Farm Sanctuary, will be giving a lecture. There will also be cooking demonstrations, booths by organizations and local businesses and lots of food. Even if you're not vegetarian or vegan, check it out because the food is going to be amazing! Tickets are $5 and can be purchased at EnVie, Wild Leek and Fruition or at the door. All proceeds go towards North Mountain Animal Sanctuary and Hope For Wildlife. I personally can't wait. I have heard Gene Bauer speak before and attended the sanctuary. He is inspirational.

http://www.hfxvegfest.com

Also, there will be a free screening of Speciesism: The Movie on September 30th. It starts at 7pm and is being held at the Museum of Natural History. Speciesism: The Movie is one of my favourite documentaries. It asks some really tough questions and tries so desperately and hilariously hard to prove that humans are meant to use animals. If you're free, come and expand your mind. Check out the Facebook event for more information.

For those of you who don't know me, I am 25 years old and I still don't have my drivers license. I am on my 4th learners permit. My boyfriend who I live with, Devin, is going away for work in October. If I don't get my license, it is going to be a pretty tough fall for me because my commute to and from work will increase by 2 hours. Last weekend, I went back to my hometown on the South Shore to take some driving lessons with a friend, who happens to be one of the people who inspired me to go vegan. He told me that with a few more lessons, I should be able to go for my road test. I am excited about that but also scared. Halifax driving is not fun. I have this fear of being rear-ended by impatient people in rush hour. If I do get my license, I may start getting up earlier and going to the gym near my work so I don't have to deal with as much traffic.

While I was home, my parents took Devin and I to visit the LaHave Islands.They had a cool museum filled with the artifacts and history of the people that lived on the islands. The best part was the berries. To my dad, finding berries is like finding gold. There is an abundance of black brier berries on the islands and I gorged myself on the berries I could find. They are so delicious! I am not ashamed because they were worth it.

Mmm free berries!

On the way back to Halifax, Devin and I stopped into Mahone Bay to check out Sweet Ride Cycling. Dev surprised me with a new old road bike the other week and I was very uncomfortable on it. We stopped in to pick up a stem. The man who helped us got me to bring in my bike and peddle on it using a trainer. He made a few recommendations on what we could do to make it more comfortable. I left with a new stem, shorter handlebars and some awesome purple grip tape. It turns out the man who helped us is a Master Fitter (which means he is an expert at fitting bikes? My bike knowledge is limited). The service we received was great. Check it out next time you're in the area. Even if you don't have a bike, they have retro candy.

My awesome new road bike. It's both badass
and terrifying to ride.

Lastly, I attended a barbecue Sunday night. Someone asked me what I must do to prepare for my next competition. So here's the quick version of what you have to do to be a bikini competitor:

I have a fitness coach. I am a client of Krissy Adams of Fit Starts Here. When I decided I wanted to compete, I had no idea how to do it. I chose Krissy because she's a registered dietitian and knows about vegan diets (she is a vegan too!). It is recommended that you hire a coach if you're thinking of competing. Krissy provides me with a workout plan and meal plan that is unique to me and my needs. She arranges posing practices and is there for help and support. If you're in pretty good shape, you can start prep about 3 months before the competition, but I recommend finding a coach before that. If you start prep earlier, it's less stressful on your body and you likely don't have to go to extremes like some competitors do like cutting calories and doing hours of cardio.

I lift heavy 4 times a week. Right now, I have a heavy leg day, high repetition leg day with abs, shoulders & triceps and back & biceps. The amount of cardio I do varies. Right now, I am expected to do at least 30 minutes a day because Krissy wants me to come in leaner for competition. I also attend posing practice once a week. Practices become more frequent as the show date gets closer and I am expected to practice at home. At posing practice, we work on our front and back poses, stage presence and walking in our heels.

For competition, I have already purchased a suit and heels as well as booked my hair, make-up and spray tan.When the competition date arrives, I will be dehydrated and cranky. My tan is booked the evening before. I will likely be up at the wee hours of the morning getting hair and make-up done. I have to strut my stuff sometime after 9am and again at 7pm. Then I will drink a liter of coconut water, eat my heart out and cry at the fact that it's all over.

That's all for this post. I realized that I have a lot to talk about. I'm hoping to talk about some more serious issues later on. Last week, I was told by an old friend of mine that I am "holier-than-thou" and because I am on a moral high ground, I shouldn't talk about veganism. That hurt me a lot. I am still pretty emotional and I am trying my hardest to understand what this person said and what he really meant by it. It's a sensitive topic for sure and I would like to address it more in depth at some point.

Have a great weekend!

"Not eating meat makes you sick!" they say...

“Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.” -  Hippocrates

A common misconception people have is that you need to consume animal products to be healthy.  Vegans and vegetarians always seem to be singled out as unhealthy. While no diet is perfect (ethical and environmental aspects aside), veganism included, meat consumption has some serious downfalls too.  Even in small amounts meat is still linked to cancer, heart disease, obesity, seafood can be contaminated in one way or another, yet most healthcare professionals still advocate for diets that include animal products. Vegans are at risk for deficiencies if they are eating a poorly planned diet but I believe that ignorance, laziness and close-mindedness with any diet can fuel disease. It's also very important to know your family history and eat the foods that will reduce your chances of becoming sick.

With that said: I was a sick vegetarian and this is my story.

I went vegetarian when I was 14 years old without doing much research at all. I essentially ate what my parents ate but I would sub out the meats for faux meats. We ate lots of steamed veggies and chili but our food revolved around instance rice, white potatoes, dairy and white pastas. These eating habits caused me to be overweight and subsequently bullied throughout junior high school. My depression and anxiety caused me to restrict calories throughout my teenage years. I thought that the fewer calories the smaller I’ll be! You know where this is going. My eating habits sucked and I felt like garbage.

During university, processed food, sugar and more processed food
were staples in my diet.

In my third year of university, fatigue started to dominate my life. If I didn't have a coffee when I got to school, I would fall asleep in class. Studying became difficult, my mind would wander and I would either get too restless to study or I would have to have a nap. My friends convinced me that being tired and distracted is completely normal. Even though I felt more tired than what they described, I started to believe that being tired is normal. I felt stupid and weak, like I shouldn't be in university. I was told that I had the potential to earn 90s but that procrastination was destroying it.

I remember sitting on the floor of my apartment, studying anatomy and physiology the day before my exam. All I wanted to do was sleep as my mind would wander whenever I looked at the notes. I told myself that if I wanted to go to vet school one day, I needed to memorize this list of muscles. I WANTED to memorize the list but my body wasn't letting me no matter how hard I tried. I would get angry at myself which lead to anxiety. These emotions didn't help me learn any better.

In my fourth year, I wrote an honours thesis. The stress of my thesis put my health in serious jeopardy. I was gone from 8am to 6pm most days and I started taking several naps an evening so that I would have the energy to work on my other studies. My depression and anxiety got worse. I feared that I would hurt myself so I started seeing a counselor. My left leg started to tingle and at one point, my entire leg fell asleep for a few days. I was very scared. I decided I needed to see a doctor.

The doctor ran some tests to determine if I had diabetes or hypothyroidism, I had my back x-rayed to look for a slipped disc, I saw a specialist to rule our rheumatoid arthritis, and a neurologist to rule out nerve problems. They couldn't find anything. I went to see my family doctor and his recommendation was anti-depressants. The thought of taking drugs to ease my pain was pretty tempting, but I was extremely hesitant because I had heard about how dangerous they can be. My weight was approaching it's highest at 152 pounds and the stress of being "fat" added to the depression.

In the fall of 2012, I got my first full time job and shortly after that I collapsed. I was barely functioning. One evening, we were driving home from work and it was dark out. I thought "If this is what the rest of my life is going to be like, I don't want to live." That thought was powerful and it sent me into a panic. I knew I needed help.

A few of my doctors recommended that I exercise to increase my energy levels. I got a gym membership and my boyfriend and I started seeing a personal trainer. I adopted a vegan diet for ethical reasons and as a result, I started eating more whole foods. After 2 months of going to the gym, my energy levels had not improved so I decided to see a naturopathic doctor (or naturopathic physician). I had nothing to lose, so why not?

Seeing a naturopathic doctor was one of the best decisions I have ever made. He went over my family history, symptoms, diet and mood. Although he was a meat-eater, he knew a lot about veganism. He recommended foods that I should eat or avoid to help with my fatigue. He wanted to see me eat leafy greens, fermented soy, lentils and pumpkin seeds. He took me off a multi-vitamin and put me on B-complex, D, B-12, tyrosine and omega supplement. He suspected B-12 deficiency so he gave me an injection and sent me on my way with more bloodwork and a genetic test. I asked him if I would ever have to eat meat again to be healthy and he said maybe, but we'll revisit that in a year if I'm not feeling better and, for now, not to stress over it. I saw an improvement in my energy levels shortly after my first B-12 injection. I wasn't getting better fast enough (compared to what he expected) so I started to get worried. I have read that organ meats are a good source of B-12 and an ex-vegan online explained to me how eating meat again solved all of her problems. The thought of eating meat again made me pretty upset... but the thought of eating chicken livers absolutely grossed me out.

I soon found out that B-12 deficiency runs in my family. My mom and her father, both avid meat eaters, have low B-12 and have to supplement. I also found out that my iron was low. My doctors never bothered to tell me about my iron because it was still in the "normal" range. I didn't grow up eating iron-rich foods like spinach and lentils, so that could be why it's low. The gene test revealed that I may have MTHFR, which could be causing my low B-12.

Left: I was 152 pounds and suffering from chronic fatigue.
Right: After 8 months of veganism, exercising and fighting for my health.

Over the next year, my energy levels started to improve. I hired a fitness coach who had me eating a lot of the same foods and taking most of the same supplements that my naturopathic doctor suggested. I started focusing on getting more iron from my food. Lentils and spinach are staples in my diet and I learned to pair iron-rich foods with foods rich in vitamin C to increase the absorption. My energy levels were slowly improving. I was scared that I would still be tired for my competition. About a month out from competition, I realized that I felt fine. I felt amazing actually. Instead of crashing whenever I got home from work, I find it hard to go to sleep some nights because I have so much energy. I've been off coffee for over a year now. Most importantly, I didn't have to eat animal products to return to good health.

Did the absence of meat from my diet cause me to get sick? I really don't think so. I feel it was a combination of poor diet, not knowing my family history and putting too much faith into what conventional doctors were telling me. I feel that if I ate a more balanced diet and had a doctor that was knowledgeable about vegetarianism, I wouldn't have been as sick.

Also, I wasn't alone in my struggles. While I was sick, Devin came across this blog post by a vegan woman facing a health crisis. It gave me the motivation to keep fighting for my health and my beliefs. You can read her story here.

What do I want you to get out of this?

If you neglect your diet, you will eventually suffer the consequences. Start educating yourself about food and make healthy eating a priority.

Never ever give up on your health. Never get to the point where you've accepted that you are going to be sick for the rest of your life. Fight for your health. See your doctor. If you are not happy with him or you are not seeing results, get a second opinion or explore your options. Specialists, psychologists, naturopathic doctors, homeopaths, massage therapists, nutritionists, acupuncturists, dietitians and personal trainers can help with the healing process.

Know your family medical history and do what you can to prevent those illnesses. I know that heart disease runs in my family so eating a plant-based diet and exercising is going to significantly reduce my risk. If I had known about B-12, I would have started supplementing sooner.

If you get bloodwork or other tests done, ask your doctor for a copy of the results. I grew up thinking that my doctor will call me if any of my bloodwork numbers are wonky, but it turns out he will only contact me if my results are critically high or critically low. Some people can experience symptoms when results are low-normal or high-normal. It's also a great thing to have on hand in case you decide to see someone like a naturopathic doctor. They don't have access to your records and cannot request tests and receive the results.