My First Confessional: The Vegan Stereotype

I want to take a post or two to address the vegan stereotype. Since I have started competing and putting myself out there, I run into people who make assumptions about my personality. Unfortunately, vegans have a bad reputation. Vegans have been stereotyped as being militant, extreme, preachy, judgmental and holier-than-thou. Animal rights activist groups like PETA haven't helped the cause. Thanks to them, I feel like some non-vegans assume that I am mean or that I think I am better than everyone else. Since honesty is the best policy, I want to write about how I really feel about non-vegans.

I would like to point out that non-vegans aren't just guilty of stereotyping. Vegans do it all of the time. It doesn't make it any less right and it can be just as hurtful. I admit that I have stereotyped non-vegans before. It's not worth it. All it did was bring more negativity into my life.

I often feel like people see me as the protester or the judge when in reality,
I like to lift heavy things, eat and meet new people.

I can understand where the "judgemental holier-than-thou" vegan stereotype comes from. I've witnessed quite a few Vegan Police jump down the throats of non-vegans for something as innocent as posting a photo of a chicken sandwich. All vegans aren't members of the Vegan Police. In fact, I know many vegans who are uncomfortable calling themselves vegan because they are afraid of getting bullied. You've probably run into these people at parties or gatherings and failed to notice them avoiding the cheese trays because they are great people with kind hearts. Only some of us can be mean at times, and even then, that doesn't automatically mean that we don't like you or that we think we are better than you.

Recently, I have had a few non-vegans imply that I don't like them or that I think I am better than them. Do I hate non-vegans? Do I think that I am better than non-vegans? Not at all!

So, here is my confession: I have called people murderers before. Back in high school, I was bullied for being vegetarian. I don't remember doing anything to provoke them other than volunteer an hour a month at an animal rights information booth that a group of us set up in the lobby. What I ate and what I believed in really bothered people and before I knew it, my "friends" were approaching me with lines like "I went hunting this weekend. We shot a buck and it's going to  make for some good eating" and "For every animal you don't eat, I am going to eat 3". I didn't know how to act in these situations and it made me feel very uncomfortable. My gut reaction was to resort to name-calling. I remember calling one of these kids a heartless murderer at one point to try to get him to bugger off. Naturally, calling him names didn't work. All it did was provoke laughter and more comments about my lifestyle. They likely stereotyped me as being emotional and holier-than-thou because of how I reacted to them but at the time, I really had no idea how to react and had very little support from my other friends.

Let's jump ahead to a few years. When I first went vegan, I was a ball of emotion. I was passionate, angry, happy and sad all at once. The more I educated myself, the more I hated the human race. I couldn't understand why people didn't care about where their food came from, why they continued to fund animal cruelty by purchasing animal products, and why they responded with "mmm bacon" when I tried to show them my side. On top of that, a few of my friends who supported me as a vegetarian started treating me like garbage when they found out I had suddenly become an "extremist". When a friend starts treating you differently because you have a made a positive change in your life, it can really put you into a tailspin. I keep asking myself "Were we ever really friends?" and I still have a difficult time answering that.

When you're arguing with someone, especially online, and emotions are high, it's so easy to resort to name-calling and bullying. I eventually realized that's not the best way to draw attention to what I am passionate about. Logic, facts, science and positive personal experiences are the way to go. When someone completely blows off what I tell them, the best thing I can do is walk away.

I wish this didn't happen but it does...

Something else you should know about me is that some of my friends and family are vegans and some are non-vegans. Some are open-minded and very supportive of my lifestyle while others have other things in common with me. If I hated non-vegans, I would be a lot more lonely!

I will admit though that sometimes non-vegans make me feel uncomfortable. Most of the time, it's unintentional but it happens. I wind up feeling pretty awkward when things like meat, hunting or fur are brought up in conversation in a positive way because I see nothing positive about these subjects. It doesn't mean I imagine sticking pins in a voodoo doll version of you in my head while you're talking. I just don't know how to respond  to you in that situation. It's hard for me to choke out positive phrases like "that down coat you're wearing is beautiful on you" when I don't think that buying down or other animal products are to be celebrated. I know what these industries are like and how the animals react so I feel like I am lying when I try to say something nice. If you don't understand what I am talking about, imagine that you're hanging with your friends when one of them starts talking about the dog meat they enjoyed while on a recent trip to Asia. I think it is safe to say that most of us here in North America has had positive experiences with companion animals. Here dogs are members of the family. We dress them up. We give them names. We take them to the vet when they get sick. We mourn them when we pass away. When someone starts talking about eating dogs, you may find yourself upset because to you, it would be like eating a member of your family. Or perhaps you have read up on the illegal dog trade going on in Asia and are horrified at the conditions in which they are kept and killed in. If the thought of eating dog makes you uncomfortable, would you say to your friend? I think you would have a difficult time being supportive of his or her decision to eat dog and you may be struggling with what would be appropriate to say. Similar thoughts go through my mind when I hear people talk about eating meat or other things they participate in that uses animals.

Do I think I am better than non-vegans? When it comes to lifestyle, I feel like I am living a more passionate, peaceful and rewarding lifestyle than most people. I also feel like plenty of non-vegans are living more passionate, peaceful and rewarding lifestyles than I am. For instance, Movember just came and went. I admire all of the people who took time out of their month to raise money for a good cause. I could say that that they are "better" than me because they actively fund-raised while I was caught up in the selfish adventure of stepping on stage, but nah, they inspire me to do be a better person.

To sum it up, if you're a jerk or an asshat to me, I'm not going to like you very much. If you're a kind person and treat  me well, I am going to like you and do what I can for you. Veganism has nothing to do with that.

Can we make 2015 the year we stop stereotyping each other? Can we make an effort to get to know people instead of making assumptions? Just try! Trust me, it will be worth the effort.