East Coast Classic 2014

Last weekend, I competed in Santana Anderson's East Coast Classic. I'll be quite honest... before I did the WBFF, I did not want to compete in this show. I heard a lot of negative things about the judging, especially with bikini class. I heard that there was a lot of drama. I decided to give it a chance and experience it for myself.

The people who compete in this even form a pretty tight knit community. I've always felt a little over place when I'm in a room with a bunch of bikini competitors but I managed to meet some awesome people and I even ran into people who I didn't expect to be competing.

The day before competition, Devin let me have the car. I'm a fairly new driver so I still don't understand how I made it to my mani/pedi without crashing the car. I had to drive home in those awful spa flip flops and then head out to the hotel for tan and registration during rush hour. It was raining really hard so I arrived in my $10 camouflage Zellers rubber boots that I bought for my biology labs. Everyone else was wearing Hunters (now you know why I feel like I don't fit in sometimes...) and all I could smell was pizza.

I arrived to my tan super early and they forgot I was there. Then my tan wouldn't stick in some places and turned my skin black in other places. The woman doing my tan told me not to panic and that they would put another coat on me in the morning. So I didn't panic. Go me!

Then I had to go downstairs so the judges could do the bum-check on my suit. The NSABBA is a stickler for covered bottoms. Luckily, mine passed but I had to be sure to bikini bite (glue) the front so I wouldn't flash the judges. There were tears shed as girls were rejected. I wanted to run over and give each of them a hug. I can't imagine how stressful it would be to have to find a new suit or shoes the night before.

When I got home, I set my alarm for 4:45 am. Only I didn't wake up at 4:45 am. I woke up at 6:25 am. I thought my hair and make-up was at 6 am so I literally woke up and left for the salon. I arrived in a panic. My hair dresser told me it wasn't a big deal and that she arrived at 6:20 and made some tea. Wait a second... she arrived at 6:20? Apparently my appointment was moved to 6:30 so I was only a few minutes late. I regretted not grabbing my oats and banana for the road.

This lovely lady, Lauren, came to my rescue
with bronzer when the tan people darkened
me even more :)

My hair and make-up was amazing. It was so much better than my hair for the WBFF. Coach Krissy didn't recognize me when I arrived at the show. Devin's family members walked past me. I had people I barely knew said they didn't recognize me. I got tons of compliments on my eyes. I loved how I looked and it really boosted my confidence. I have Jaquelyn from The Parlour and Vicky Mina to thank for it!

Bikini girls were on last so I immediately went to get my tan fixed. They put a really dark coat on me... and it started coming off too. I went from being the lightest competitor to one of the darkest. Great. I sat in the lobby and waited with the other Fit Starts Here competitors... and waited... and waited... and 3 hours went by... then I snuck my wine into the bathroom, pumped up and hit the stage.

Being on stage was a totally different experience this time around. I was only a little shaky (thank you booze!) and I was actually able to think on stage instead of being in a panic. I remember telling myself to keep my gut sucked in and my knees locked. Shortly after arriving on stage, I found Devin and his family in the audience which put me at ease. Meanwhile, people in the audience were yelling out numbers ("Go 72!" "Smile, 83!"). Whenever I heard someone from the audience call out to us, it made me laugh. Then someone started calling out my name and number. It made me so happy.

I was super excited when Katie, a fellow diva, made second call out and a little bummed out when some of the people I knew made last call-out.

There were 27 girls in my class. I made 3rd call-out and ended up placing 15th. I was super happy with that. My goal was to place. If you place 16th or higher, you don't get placed at all so I barely made it. Go me. I'm happy with that, I think.

After judging, Devin and I took his family to EnVie for some eats. Since I was only allowed to have carbs and fat, I went for the cashew Alfredo pasta and smokey seitan bacon. Mmm. Devin wasn't sure if they would enjoy my show but they got really into it. It felt really great having them make the long drive out here to support me on. I really appreciated it and really meant a lot to me. My friends and family couldn't or wouldn't come to my show and that had started stressing me out the week before.

The night show was a repeat of the morning show. There was a lot more waiting and we were more rushed on stage, but afterwards, the slutty brownies I made were waiting for me. I got Devin to pick me up a veggie burger and fries when he came and got me. It was so worth it.

I woke up the next morning feeling sad that the day was over already. I enjoyed some treats, spent time with some friends and started thinking about what I want to do next. I would love to do Atlantics in April, but I'm also interested in doing a drug-free show in the fall.

Treats: vegan garlic fingers with bacon from Belly Full of Veggies (top left), waffles from EnVie (top right), treat pot luck goodies (bottom left) and a close-up of my slutty brownies (bottom right)

Since my show, I have been feeling very grateful. I'm grateful for having an awesome dedicated coach who sacrificed a lot to help us get on stage that day. I am grateful for my boyfriend who has driven me to the gym, helped me with my errands and prepped a lot of my meals for me. I am grateful for the my fellow divas: Katie, Terri, Rebecca and Celeste. They were great company throughout the process and I really hope they're happy with how they did because I am so proud of them. I am grateful for the women that I have met at posing practice, the seminar, and during the show and how kind they have been. I am grateful for Jonathan Shreve's help with my posing. I'll definitely be getting more lessons from him if I continue on.

You haven't seen the last of me. I don't know when I'll step on stage next but in the meantime, I am going to work on building some more muscle and put more time and effort into doing things that make me happy. I have a cooking class tomorrow night at EnVie where I will be learning how to make vegan cheese. I've been asked out for coffee by a few people post-show so I will be taking them up on that. I want to do some more baking and learn how to be a better cook!

Thanks everyone <3

Peak Week Ups and Downs

One of the reasons why I started this blog is so that I can document my contest prep. Well, I've failed at that because I have been way too busy. For the last month or so I would go to work, eat, work-out and go to sleep. My weekends have been busy with errands, trips home, more work and seeing my friends.

My competition is 2 days away. I am nearing the end of the infamous Peak Week to prepare for competition. During Peak Week, athletes typically do a carb depletion/loading phase and a water loading/depletion phase to get our bodies ready for the stage.
The way I understand it is that the easiest way to cut body fat before a competition is to cut carbs such as fruits, colourful veggies and grains and increase the amount of protein and fat you're eating. The lack of carbs makes you leaner but it also makes your muscles flatter as glycogen stores in your muscles deplete. A few days before a show, athletes will suddenly eat tons of carbs to increase their glycogen stores. This makes the muscles puff out and appear fuller. For me, carb depletion/loading meant subsiding on edaname, tofu and steamed broccoli for a couple of days. I was hungry. I was tired. My head was foggy. I was super cranky. Just being at work annoyed me to the point where I just wanted to walk out haha. I don't remember my last depletion being this tough but I am leaner now than I was before, which probably plays a role. Now I'm getting banana, sweet potato, white rice and lots of oats. I've gone from feeling hungry to super full. It definitely messes with your body!

Bodybuilders are dehydrated when they step on stage. Dehydration gets rid of bloating and makes your muscles appear hard. Most athletes go through a loading phase where they salt their foods to retain water and drink tons of water (I was up to 6L a day). Then salt is avoided and water is cut. When water is cut, your body thinks that it is still taking in 6L of water a day and so it eliminates water like you're still drinking a large amount. This helps squeeze every last drop of water from your body. This time around I bought a 4L jug for water loading/depletion. When I measured out my water, I found it easier to get it into me.

As for the show, I'm getting very nervous. For months, I was really confident in my posing. Just lately, I have had some conflicting opinions on how to walk, how to transition and how to do my mandatory front pose. I felt like I was a newbie all over again and it left me very confused and disappointed. I know that posing is one of my weaker points but I wasn't prepared to be told that what I'm doing isn't good enough. I took the day off work today so I can focus on posing as well as get things done around the house.

Tomorrow I have my first mani/pedi booked and I go for my spray tan. Then show time! After the show I get to binge a little bit but I have to go back to dieting because I have a photo shoot booked at the end of the month.

I've been down a little bit as well. I almost had a break-down at the gym the other night. I was very upset that some of the people I love don't support what I'm doing. I really really want them to be at my show and it hurts a lot that instead of supporting me, they either remained close-minded or have shunned me for being a vegan. It's hard! I keep reminding myself that some  people are jerks. It hasn't been working though.

I'm going to do some baking today so I have some post-show noms on hand. Since all I've thinking about is FOOD, here is a cool survey I found on The Laziest Vegans in the World:


What is your favorite store-bought veggie burger?

I don't have veggie burgers that often so I don't really know what my favourite is. I grew up with Yves veggie burgers. They're pretty tasty!

What is you favorite frozen dinner?
I haven't tried many because there is such a mark-up here in Canada. I love Tofurky Pepperoni Pizza. They're the king of frozen pizzas.

What is your favorite ice cream?
Larry and Luna's Coconut Bliss is the best. I don't know which flavour I enjoy the most.

What is your favorite chip or cracker?
Mary's Gone Crackers are awesome dipped in almond butter. My rats even love them!

What is your favorite cereal?
Peanut Butter Puffins with almond milk and blueberries.

What is your favorite candy?
PC European Dark Chocolate and Zazubean Nut Bar. I am a sucker for chocolate.

What is your favorite cookie?
Do the Sweet & Sara Peanut Butter Smores count as a cookie? I wish you could get these here in Canada!

What three pre-packaged food items would you take to a desert island?
Dandies Marshmallows to toast over my survival fire, breaded calamari from Sophie's Kitchen because it is so darn crispy and yum and... Lara bars!

Name a product you would like Veganized?
They need to veganize those little crispy vanilla wafers so that they can finally make vegan Mr. Bigs.

What are your favorite local and/or online stores for Vegan products?

Locally: Organic Earth Market, Superstore and EnVie.
Online: Vitacost because shipping is so affordable.

Look Past The Photograph

A friend of mine shared my blog in an online vegan community. One of the first comments came from a woman who couldn't understand why I was barely wearing anything in one of my photos. It was explained to her how bodybuilding competitions work (we build up our muscles, put on suits so that judges can see said muscles and then we binge on Oreos and cupcakes) but alas, I was dressed too inappropriately to represent strong women according to her.

The photo that started it all.
Taken by Ray of Light Photography

This wasn't the first time I saw comments like this. In fact, I used to think like this woman. What changed? Do I still think that what I do is inappropriate, sexist and too sexy? My answer is pretty complicated, but I'll try to walk you through this.

If you showed that photo to me 2 years ago, I would have thought the same thing: Why is this woman wearing a skimpy bikini? Why is she sharing such a private photo to strangers on the internet? This is very inappropriate. I think she is just looking for attention.

I thought this way for 2 reasons, the first being that I was jealous. I grew up being bullied. In elementary, I looked like a boy so kids teased because of that. Junior high was the worst. I was bullied for being fat and ugly. The bullying was so bad that I still suffer from anxiety whenever I go back to my hometown. I am still scared that I am going to run into someone out in public and they are going to beat the crap out of me. It's irrational, I know, but the bullies pushed me to the point where I had to transfer schools. It was that bad.

The comments about my weight caused me to cover myself up. Every day, I went to school and had to look at the popular girls. They wore spaghetti strap tops and their pierced bellies were often exposed. They walked around with a lot of confidence and they didn't take crap from anybody. I wanted to be like them, but I couldn't. I wanted them to cover up so that I didn't feel as badly about myself.

Whenever I saw a photo of a beautiful confident woman, it reminded me that I could never look as good as they do. Instead of finding them inspiring, I thought of some things that the woman could do to make herself less threatening to me. That meant wishing she would dressed more conservatively and didn't put herself out there like that.

The second reason is because of how I was raised. My family is a little more conservative than the average family. I wasn't allowed to wear the spaghetti strap tops when they became trendy. I was not allowed to attend school dances. I started shaving later than most people I knew (well... Nair-ing because I would "regret" shaving my legs with a razor). It was rough trying to fit in because even when I was confident enough to wear what I liked, it was discouraged. Sleeve-less tops and tight tops were "too sexy". Being sexy attracts boys, drugs and trouble. Because I never wanted to rock the boat, I went with it.

When you're raised in an environment where you are lead to believe that short-shorts and bare shoulders attract bad things, you think that everyone who wears less than you do is trying to attract trouble. So I started associating certain styles and activities with negative behaviours and actions. I would label the girls who dressed this way as sluts. Looking back, that's bullying.

If you think I am doing competitions and posting photos of myself for sex and to attract men, I'm not. If that was my goal, I'd probably take my bra off and do some steamy black and white photos of me hanging off of a sexy male torso. I have 3 reasons for getting up on that stage and sharing my photos with the world:

1) To promote veganism. There are still people out there who think that vegans cannot be athletes or they cannot compete on the same level as non-vegans. I want to show people that vegans can build muscle, be healthy and able compete with non-vegans.

2) To inspire people to lead a healthier, fitter lifestyle. I want to show people that with a little determination and hard work, that he or she can be a happier healthier person.

3) To share my journey. I grew up lacking confidence and I was very reserved. I was also beginning to put on weight and had gotten pretty sick. I want people, especially my friends and family, to see how far I have come.

Do I ever think that what I am doing is inappropriate or too sexy? I would be lying if I said no.

In January, I did my first fitness photoshoot. I was super nervous with the idea of having photos taken of me in a sports bra but my coach said I was ready and I was starting to feel really good about how I looked. Doing things like wearing shorts and tank tops to the gym were beginning to feel more natural to me and I was starting to like the parts of me that had always been hidden beneath my sleeves and long pants. I did a fun photoshoot where I flexed my muscles and posed with a dumbbell and I felt really strong and confident. Then, I was asked to roll up my shorts and head over to the stairwell for some different photos. I noticed that the shoot had went from fit and fun to a little more sexy. I started getting a little nervous but I was having a lot of fun so I went with it. After the shoot was over, I realized what I had just done and I started to freak out a little. I kept thinking of my parents. What if they saw these photos on Facebook? Would it be too sexy for them? What are they going to say to me? More importantly, are they going to change the way they think of me?

I got the photos back and one really stuck out to me:

Photo by Ray of Light Photography

Yup. There it is. The sexiest photo I have ever had taken of me. I was mortified... but I was also okay with it. I'm beautiful. I love my body. Why do I need to continue to hide it?

Whenever I compete, I try to think about why I'm doing this. If me being up on stage is going to change someone's mind about veganism or inspire them to live a healthier lifestyle, my discomfort is worth it.

I expected more out of the vegan community. Vegans are the last group of people that I expected to be offended by my body. Health is one of the most popular reasons as to why people consider veganism. We're all aware of the myths out there: you need animal protein to survive and thrive, you can't get enough protein and you cannot be an athlete. As a bodybuilder, I am demonstrating that you can be healthy and athletic without animal proteins, supplements, steroids, fat burners and going to extremes. Most male and female vegan bodybuilders that I admire are doing this in the healthiest way possible. I feel like I have become a good representative of veganism... and you pick me apart because of how I dress? Really?

Next time you see some photos where a person is doing something that you would not do yourself, please think about the person's intent is when they posted that image. They could be in a sport, like bodybuilding. They could be inspiring people live a better lifestyle. Or they could just be really comfortable with who they are and they want to show everyone how confident they are.