My favourite holiday recipes of 2014

It's Christmas Eve! I thought I would write a quick update while I wait for the boyfriend to finish work and get home so we can drive to his parent's place.

Christmas is getting easier and more enjoyable each year. When I first decided to go vegan, I didn't really announce it to our families because I was nervous about what they would think and I was scared they would stress themselves out trying to cater to our "special needs". Whenever we visit family, we spend a crazy amount of time making food that everyone can have. Devin's mom has since become quite the vegan chef. She brought lentil loaf, cashew cheesecake and an amazing rubbed kale salad for us at the family Christmas party this past weekend. I no longer worry about visiting her and I really appreciate what she does. My mom usually has a Tofurky for us and uses vegan-friendly margarine in her sides so we can have them too. I haven't really gotten the details on what's going on with my family this Christmas, but I'm not going to stress about it. We have a Field Roast Celebration Roast in the freezer if we need it.

I got hit with massive student loan repayments this month, so Christmas this year has been pretty low-key. Devin and I decided  not to exchange gifts and we spent the last 2 weeks baking goodies to give to our friends and prepping food for the numerous potlucks, parties and gatherings that we were invited to. Here are some of my favourite recipes this year:

Almond Lace Cookies

Sorry, no photos for these but they look just like the photos and taste delicious. I haven't had a complaint.

Vegan Cheddar Cheese Ball

I nearly killed the Vitamix making this, but it's so worth it. It tastes just like cheddar. I brought this to my work potluck and blew everyone's minds. One of my coworkers has a soy and tomato allergy but it was easy to swap those out with roasted red pepper and chickpea miso.

Gumdrop Cake

My family had gumdrop cake every Christmas growing up. The vegan version tastes just as delicious. We used gelatin-free jubjubes in them.

Gingerbread Cookie Balls

If you're looking for a healthy festive treat, there is no refined sugar in this recipe. Just nuts, dates, molasses and spices. They're delicious.

Peanut Butter Balls

I just took a regular recipe and subbed the butter out for margarine, Rice Krispies for organic crisp brown rice, peanut butter for natural chunky peanut butter and the chocolate chips for the dairy-free variety. I had to use way more peanut butter and margarine mixture and chocolate than the recipe calls for.

I've been seeing a chiropractor for 3 weeks now because I was having lower back pain before and after my show. I'm happy to say that my pain is pretty much gone. Last night, I was given the okay to start squatting at a light weight. I AM SO HAPPY!

Looking back, I think I pushed myself too hard with certain exercises. I always hated planks because my lower back felt like it was going to collapse. I remember telling Devin that it feels like someone put a giant brick on my lower back whenever I did planks. Whenever I was told that my butt wasn't high enough, I fought the pain to get it back in the air. I thought the pain was normal, so I fought through it. I guess it wasn't. I fought through a few more exercises that made my back feel the same and I think I paid the price.

Luckily, I didn't do any serious damage. I guess I spent too much time with my lower back straighter than it is supposed to be and everything tensed up. I have been working on keeping a curve in my lower back and being aware of how I sit. I've been doing stretches and stability exercises to build up my core strength outside of treatment. I've been doing my exercises more slowly at the gym so I can work on my form and notice when I feel pain and discomfort.

I should probably wrap this up. Happy Holidays everyone!

My First Confessional: The Vegan Stereotype

I want to take a post or two to address the vegan stereotype. Since I have started competing and putting myself out there, I run into people who make assumptions about my personality. Unfortunately, vegans have a bad reputation. Vegans have been stereotyped as being militant, extreme, preachy, judgmental and holier-than-thou. Animal rights activist groups like PETA haven't helped the cause. Thanks to them, I feel like some non-vegans assume that I am mean or that I think I am better than everyone else. Since honesty is the best policy, I want to write about how I really feel about non-vegans.

I would like to point out that non-vegans aren't just guilty of stereotyping. Vegans do it all of the time. It doesn't make it any less right and it can be just as hurtful. I admit that I have stereotyped non-vegans before. It's not worth it. All it did was bring more negativity into my life.

I often feel like people see me as the protester or the judge when in reality,
I like to lift heavy things, eat and meet new people.

I can understand where the "judgemental holier-than-thou" vegan stereotype comes from. I've witnessed quite a few Vegan Police jump down the throats of non-vegans for something as innocent as posting a photo of a chicken sandwich. All vegans aren't members of the Vegan Police. In fact, I know many vegans who are uncomfortable calling themselves vegan because they are afraid of getting bullied. You've probably run into these people at parties or gatherings and failed to notice them avoiding the cheese trays because they are great people with kind hearts. Only some of us can be mean at times, and even then, that doesn't automatically mean that we don't like you or that we think we are better than you.

Recently, I have had a few non-vegans imply that I don't like them or that I think I am better than them. Do I hate non-vegans? Do I think that I am better than non-vegans? Not at all!

So, here is my confession: I have called people murderers before. Back in high school, I was bullied for being vegetarian. I don't remember doing anything to provoke them other than volunteer an hour a month at an animal rights information booth that a group of us set up in the lobby. What I ate and what I believed in really bothered people and before I knew it, my "friends" were approaching me with lines like "I went hunting this weekend. We shot a buck and it's going to  make for some good eating" and "For every animal you don't eat, I am going to eat 3". I didn't know how to act in these situations and it made me feel very uncomfortable. My gut reaction was to resort to name-calling. I remember calling one of these kids a heartless murderer at one point to try to get him to bugger off. Naturally, calling him names didn't work. All it did was provoke laughter and more comments about my lifestyle. They likely stereotyped me as being emotional and holier-than-thou because of how I reacted to them but at the time, I really had no idea how to react and had very little support from my other friends.

Let's jump ahead to a few years. When I first went vegan, I was a ball of emotion. I was passionate, angry, happy and sad all at once. The more I educated myself, the more I hated the human race. I couldn't understand why people didn't care about where their food came from, why they continued to fund animal cruelty by purchasing animal products, and why they responded with "mmm bacon" when I tried to show them my side. On top of that, a few of my friends who supported me as a vegetarian started treating me like garbage when they found out I had suddenly become an "extremist". When a friend starts treating you differently because you have a made a positive change in your life, it can really put you into a tailspin. I keep asking myself "Were we ever really friends?" and I still have a difficult time answering that.

When you're arguing with someone, especially online, and emotions are high, it's so easy to resort to name-calling and bullying. I eventually realized that's not the best way to draw attention to what I am passionate about. Logic, facts, science and positive personal experiences are the way to go. When someone completely blows off what I tell them, the best thing I can do is walk away.

I wish this didn't happen but it does...

Something else you should know about me is that some of my friends and family are vegans and some are non-vegans. Some are open-minded and very supportive of my lifestyle while others have other things in common with me. If I hated non-vegans, I would be a lot more lonely!

I will admit though that sometimes non-vegans make me feel uncomfortable. Most of the time, it's unintentional but it happens. I wind up feeling pretty awkward when things like meat, hunting or fur are brought up in conversation in a positive way because I see nothing positive about these subjects. It doesn't mean I imagine sticking pins in a voodoo doll version of you in my head while you're talking. I just don't know how to respond  to you in that situation. It's hard for me to choke out positive phrases like "that down coat you're wearing is beautiful on you" when I don't think that buying down or other animal products are to be celebrated. I know what these industries are like and how the animals react so I feel like I am lying when I try to say something nice. If you don't understand what I am talking about, imagine that you're hanging with your friends when one of them starts talking about the dog meat they enjoyed while on a recent trip to Asia. I think it is safe to say that most of us here in North America has had positive experiences with companion animals. Here dogs are members of the family. We dress them up. We give them names. We take them to the vet when they get sick. We mourn them when we pass away. When someone starts talking about eating dogs, you may find yourself upset because to you, it would be like eating a member of your family. Or perhaps you have read up on the illegal dog trade going on in Asia and are horrified at the conditions in which they are kept and killed in. If the thought of eating dog makes you uncomfortable, would you say to your friend? I think you would have a difficult time being supportive of his or her decision to eat dog and you may be struggling with what would be appropriate to say. Similar thoughts go through my mind when I hear people talk about eating meat or other things they participate in that uses animals.

Do I think I am better than non-vegans? When it comes to lifestyle, I feel like I am living a more passionate, peaceful and rewarding lifestyle than most people. I also feel like plenty of non-vegans are living more passionate, peaceful and rewarding lifestyles than I am. For instance, Movember just came and went. I admire all of the people who took time out of their month to raise money for a good cause. I could say that that they are "better" than me because they actively fund-raised while I was caught up in the selfish adventure of stepping on stage, but nah, they inspire me to do be a better person.

To sum it up, if you're a jerk or an asshat to me, I'm not going to like you very much. If you're a kind person and treat  me well, I am going to like you and do what I can for you. Veganism has nothing to do with that.

Can we make 2015 the year we stop stereotyping each other? Can we make an effort to get to know people instead of making assumptions? Just try! Trust me, it will be worth the effort.

Goal-setting and setbacks

It has been almost 3 weeks since my competition. How am I doing? Well... my body isn't doing so well but I am still eager to reach my new goals.

About 2 weeks before the show, I noticed stiffness in my lower back after doing a lot of cardio. The stiffness has progressed to pain. The night after my show, my back was throbbing and I almost had to reach for pain killers. I didn't get to the gym much afterwards because of other commitments, but it started hurting after leg day and again after my photoshoot on the weekend. It's sensitive and starts to hurt when I bend or crouch down. I have an appointment with a chiropractor on Monday to get it checked out.

I've been told to take it easy because I could risk hurting myself even more. I don't want to take it easy! I want to hit the weights and start building muscle. I want to get back at the gym so that all of those holiday treats hanging around the house doesn't make it to my waist. I already fit into my pants again. I'm trying so hard not to bum myself out but it's difficult.

On a positive note, I thought long and hard about what I want to do next. I got hit with student loans this month, so doing Atlantics or the IDFA show in April is out of the question. I would like to travel to Montreal for the IDFA show in October. That gives me plenty of time to put on more muscle. Plus, I have never been to Montreal before so I could make a little trip out of it! After that, I may do the NSABBA show again in November.

I've been asked a few times why I want to continue competing and what I expect to get out of it. There are so many downsides to competing. There is drama everywhere. I didn't realize that drugs are as prevalent as they are. I've been attacked, blocked and unfriended by pro athletes who are close-minded about diets, training and veganism. It's physically and emotionally draining. Also, I'm a shy girl which makes appearing fun and flirty on stage a challenge... and apparently, I put on muscle slower than a lot of girls. So why would I want to do this again?

I've never excelled at sports growing up. I have played badminton, basketball and volleyball but I was never good enough to make the teams. I bowled for a number of years and did win a few banners but the competition was small or non-existent. With bodybuilding, just having the drive and courage to step on stage makes you a winner. It doesn't matter if you come in first or 16th place, you've already accomplished what most people cannot do or won't do. No matter how you do, you're an inspiration to a lot of people. I believe that I have inspired people and demonstrated that people can be athletes without consuming animals and animal products.

To be honest, I don't expect to place well in shows. If my goal was to place high, I feel like I would have to sacrifice my morals and put my physical and mental health in jeopardy. I took up lifting to get healthy and the thought of doing something that will hurt me or set me back scares me.

I'm still having fun though and meeting tons of new people at every show I do or event I participate in. The moment I stop having fun is the moment I need to re-evaluate my decision to compete.

Also, I'm still progressing. Coach Krissy told me that the difference between my first competition and now is like night and day. As long as I continue progressing, I would like to continue on in the sport.

I am excited to see what 2015 brings. Since my coach is no longer taking on women for competition prep, I have found another coach whose values match up with mine. I am going to miss my coach a lot but I am really excited to see what's in store for me. I believe I start my meal plan in January. In the meantime, I'm going to eat clean when I can and not stress too much over the holiday feasts coming.

I will leave you with some transformation pictures. Can you spot the difference? I look more sassy and confident. My shoulders and back have more muscles. I loved my suit, but I'm thinking of doing a lighter blue next year just in case I wind up being the darkest person on stage again. I will have to keep an eye out for a used one!

Left: WBFF in May 2014
Right: ECC in November 2014
October 2015: ???