About 2 weeks before the show, I noticed stiffness in my lower back after doing a lot of cardio. The stiffness has progressed to pain. The night after my show, my back was throbbing and I almost had to reach for pain killers. I didn't get to the gym much afterwards because of other commitments, but it started hurting after leg day and again after my photoshoot on the weekend. It's sensitive and starts to hurt when I bend or crouch down. I have an appointment with a chiropractor on Monday to get it checked out.
I've been told to take it easy because I could risk hurting myself even more. I don't want to take it easy! I want to hit the weights and start building muscle. I want to get back at the gym so that all of those holiday treats hanging around the house doesn't make it to my waist. I already fit into my pants again. I'm trying so hard not to bum myself out but it's difficult.
On a positive note, I thought long and hard about what I want to do next. I got hit with student loans this month, so doing Atlantics or the IDFA show in April is out of the question. I would like to travel to Montreal for the IDFA show in October. That gives me plenty of time to put on more muscle. Plus, I have never been to Montreal before so I could make a little trip out of it! After that, I may do the NSABBA show again in November.
I've been asked a few times why I want to continue competing and what I expect to get out of it. There are so many downsides to competing. There is drama everywhere. I didn't realize that drugs are as prevalent as they are. I've been attacked, blocked and unfriended by pro athletes who are close-minded about diets, training and veganism. It's physically and emotionally draining. Also, I'm a shy girl which makes appearing fun and flirty on stage a challenge... and apparently, I put on muscle slower than a lot of girls. So why would I want to do this again?
I've never excelled at sports growing up. I have played badminton, basketball and volleyball but I was never good enough to make the teams. I bowled for a number of years and did win a few banners but the competition was small or non-existent. With bodybuilding, just having the drive and courage to step on stage makes you a winner. It doesn't matter if you come in first or 16th place, you've already accomplished what most people cannot do or won't do. No matter how you do, you're an inspiration to a lot of people. I believe that I have inspired people and demonstrated that people can be athletes without consuming animals and animal products.
To be honest, I don't expect to place well in shows. If my goal was to place high, I feel like I would have to sacrifice my morals and put my physical and mental health in jeopardy. I took up lifting to get healthy and the thought of doing something that will hurt me or set me back scares me.
I'm still having fun though and meeting tons of new people at every show I do or event I participate in. The moment I stop having fun is the moment I need to re-evaluate my decision to compete.
Also, I'm still progressing. Coach Krissy told me that the difference between my first competition and now is like night and day. As long as I continue progressing, I would like to continue on in the sport.
I am excited to see what 2015 brings. Since my coach is no longer taking on women for competition prep, I have found another coach whose values match up with mine. I am going to miss my coach a lot but I am really excited to see what's in store for me. I believe I start my meal plan in January. In the meantime, I'm going to eat clean when I can and not stress too much over the holiday feasts coming.
I will leave you with some transformation pictures. Can you spot the difference? I look more sassy and confident. My shoulders and back have more muscles. I loved my suit, but I'm thinking of doing a lighter blue next year just in case I wind up being the darkest person on stage again. I will have to keep an eye out for a used one!
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Left: WBFF in May 2014 Right: ECC in November 2014 October 2015: ??? |
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